ok.. so i counted my $$. if i exchange my indonesian $$ into singapore $$, i get about $440.32 . Without the indonesian $$ I only have $364.61 . darn. i'm so pathetic, it can't even reach 500?? at this rate there is really no way i can help to pay for the portugal trip, unless i strike the lottery or something. God, help..

i feel like such a hypocrite, how come i only pray to God when i need help?? i mean, usually i pray too, sometimes, but i don't pray so much when i don't need God's help. im terrible, i might end up in hell when i die. bah. i think i will go to church more often from now on, because i learned in catechism last thursday that not going to mass is a GRAVE MORTAL SIN and i end up in hell just for that. which means i should be in hell now. grh. and maybe i'll go to confession or something, argh, i dunno.

bah. it's just that, i believe in God and Jesus and all the Bible things, but i don't believe in these rituals that we have to do.. i mean i believe in them but i don't believe in DOING them.. esp. since usually when i do it i don't feel much anyway. then it's just stupid.

but God has been helping me a lot lately and i'm really, really thankful for that. i can't tell Him how much.

i decided not to pester my parents about the portugal trip anymore, until i get the consent form. i need a break anyway, i'm sure they need it too. hopefully with time everything will work out. and if i don't get to go.. i don't get to go.

sometimes i just have to let go of certain things, i guess. selfish needs. everything will turn out for the best in the end, i kinda believe in that.

me, nana and donna went to see ms wong today, she said that it will cost us $$ to get an outside tutor. she said ms koh can teach us the basics though. :] so we saw ms koh, and she told us to meet with the other people who are interested for the course and decide on a day when we can all stay back, after exams of course.

studied for a while in the library, with novita, gloria and her new friend connie. :) she's nice. :) discovered how hard the physics revision paper is, and realised what a sucker i am at physics. i bet mr tan will hate me for this. :|

english exam today was OK. titles were boring. so i wrote a boring crappy essay. situational writing was a bit better cos by then i couldn't be bothered anymore and just wrote whatever came to my mind. bah.

comprehension wasn't that bad. it's not that easy either though. ms teo lied to us. :| i initially had 1 hour to do my summary, so i took my time underlining all the points and writing my summary in pencil first. in the end i only had 5 mins to rewrite it in pen, great. i MANAGED to finish it in time though!! felt damn lucky. hand is tired though. :( *pats hand*

i hope IJ wins the lego competition thingy! i will puke blood and die if admiralty wins, so they better not win, cos i'm not ready to die yet. :( the video couldn't be exported in time! that really sucked. :| i hope that won't make them not win... BAHHH.... oh well. at least it's not like they spent weeks on the video, like the live wire video.....

can still remember FRS till now. :(

wh00t. for the first time in days i played a pretty good bball match. not because i played well, but cos it was fun. :)) played with savina, emily, delle, gloria and novita! emily left earlier though. we played a nice bball game. emily is actually quite pro, she and savina can work v. well with each other. then someone came up with the brilliant idea of playing soccer, so we played soccer. decided to name it sARCcer. cos most of us sarc at it anyway. (except savina, of course.)

found out a few things during the game: 1. soccer and me is like chocolate and onion. (haha, simon says!) seriously, i play very dangerously. smacked delle right in the face once. 2. delle is a soccer fan!!! (wth ???!!! *had no idea* :|:|:|:|) 3. delle is a good goalie! or maybe the rest of us just sarc. (except savina. as usual. :|)

overall it was just a good bonding session between the young exco! sports encourage bonding, yeah.

still can't believe delle watches soccer. reminds me of last time when i used to watch soccer quite a lot too. nowadays can't be bothered to watch TV much, only watch world cup, heheh. if only world cup is in June 2004, and if i can go to portugal .... !!!

!!!

if only. :|

saw a cat in the canteen. we tried to shoo it out, scared something might happen to it in school. teachers are not nice to cats. :| we tried a lot of ways, including talking to the cat and sign languages. i even carried the cat to the basketball court.. but it just turned back to the school?? wth??!!! cats are so ungrateful, i got cat fur all over my arms cos of it. :x

that is why dogs are so much more intelligent than cats. sorry delle, but it's true.

song of the day is Flying Without Wings but i can't be bothered to type out the whole lyrics so i'll just put in what i can remember. sorry if some of the lines are wrong, memory is rusty.

Flying Without Wings - Westlife / Ruben Studdard

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings?
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it (*i forgot the word here*) every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendships
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much it means (*not sure of this line*)
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know, which one you let go
Would have made you complete..

...

kinda forgot the rest. hee. :D

Happy Labour Day! Let's celebrate the day and study, study, study.