} Just tired. And really brimming with cornyness.

I finished my maths a bit early, so I thought I should give myself some Internet time. :D

Linkin Park is blasting from my laptop right now...since my discman is running out of batteries. As expected, everyone is now driven away from the room, including my mum. Thank heavens for that. I should play loud rock music more often from now on.

Instead they're all outside now, watching Rugrats or something else that my stupid brother likes to watch..

I've never been so relieved that I'm alone in the room... Been arguing with my mum lately, and..I should say..there's been some physical contact involved. Not in that way, sicko. As in, mild violence. But it's OK I guess, I'm pretty much used to it.

It's about my piano lesson.. as usual. Now that I think about it...It's funny how such a trivial matter can bring a huge argument that lasts for days. Just yesterday my mum spent the whole evening screaming at me and lecturing me, telling me that even though I don't like this piano class, I have to continue with it. Because she wants me to.

I'm thinking in my head now, gee, what a reasonable reason.

When I try to argue that I really hate it, and that the only reason I continue with it is because she's been pestering me to, she'd counter-attack with telling me how I used to like the lessons when I was young, and then she'd add in a few whines about why 'none of her children can make her happy'.

Excuse me, but making her happy is what's been making me go through all these stupid lessons once a week, almost two years straight now. And yes, I used to like it, but for God's sake, I'm not a baby she can order around anymore.

I don't know what to do anymore. Even when I try to talk nicely, her use of authority against me gets on my nerves. Yes, for goodness' sake, I will suffer through another year's worth of these lessons before I finally graduate in grade 8, but I wish she'd stop pestering me about practising when I'm obviously busy with other things.

She said something about never letting me fail this year. She wants me to continue to up to grade 8, at least, or so she says. After that, probably, she'd force and pester me into taking a diploma. At this rate, I might as well be her lifetime marionette.

She knows I'm trying to take my CCA seriously. My points last year was pathetic, since I absolutely hated my CCA. Now that I've found something that I like, I don't understand why she's making extra classes a priority.

I continued with my 3rd language classes up to this year, just to please her. I continued with my piano classes up to now, even though I was on the verge of stopping... just to make her happy. I slave through my revisions before exams, because I know of her high expectations.

What more does she want?

Now, I'm just tired. My workload is piling up. I'd be surprised if I don't snap soon.

I don't know how typing all this cornyness here is going to help. I don't know anything right now. I just feel like falling asleep, and never waking up until I'm ready to face everything again.

I have 3rd lang class tomorrow.

Fuck.

2003-08-11, 8:32 p.m..
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